Friday, June 25, 2004
My mother is in a cult...
I have started to worry about the cost of de-programming her. My mother and I have had a shaky past but I really think she has lost it. The woman has done really well for herself considering she did not finish college. She is a Post-Master in South Carolina and is the bread winner for the family. It scares me that she is a Post-Master of a small community because that means if it ever fell into Marshall law then she would be the leader. Bless her, but I know she would be drunk with power and oh the thought of those poor people makes it difficult to sleep some nights.
Anyway my mother also has a another job. She sells Mary Kay Cosmetics. You may say, "what is wrong with that?" and to you I say "you must not know anyone who pushes the stuff." The women is relentless. Where ever we go she stops and talks to people about it. Whenever I call or come home its all she talks about. I mean people see her coming and run. Now part of being on the Mary Kay team is that you must enlist troops. Thank god I am not a girl. She has my step-sister and my sister signed up and has just stopped short of having me go door to door with the crap. She always is asking "don't I know someone who would like to buy some?" When I visit she keeps giving me propaganda to take back to Atlanta. At Christmas I asked for more Polo Blue cologne and ended up with a MK "equivalent". Her argument was that their brand was better and she just couldn't give money to a competitor, oh yeah the people at Ralph Lauren are shaking in fear. I can't even bring friends home at the risk of her attacking them like a restaurant pusher in the mall. "Bourbon Chicken?"
Ok still think I am exaggerating? Below is a letter she sent out to her "troops" this past winter.
Hi Everyone,
I am not sure I have been able to personally talk with each of you since the ice storm hit Orangeburg, but it was devastating to me. We not only lost many trees, one of the River Birches at each end of my porch, electricity for a week, everything out of the fridge and freezer but I was also not able to finish car production in January. I was not and could call and talk with people about MK when much more important things were on peoples minds, like electricity, food, and for some even shelter since tree limbs had gone through the roofs of houses. It was a disaster, we could not get out of our drive or street until neighbors cut us out on Tuesday afternoon. We immediately headed out for hot food as all we had was 1 slice of pizza each which we heated on a kerosene heater. My husband did try to make me see the brighter side of the picture, I could do another 4 months to make car production, I had already almost done it (all but $700 in production) so I could do it again. I knew I could but I was so devastated, however, I had resigned myself to starting again.
Debbie called the last night and asked where I was and I said I did not make it, she stated maybe MK would let me have an extension because of the weather and my reply was that if they did that for me that they would have to do that for everyone when the least bit of bad weather moved in across the world. Last week MK called and asked what had gone wrong for me and the team in Feb. we were so close but did not finish. I explained to them about the ice storm and that no one was interested in MK at that time, most did not have water, electricity, food and some even shelter. To make a long story short, they decided to give me until the end of February to finish car production, now is that a company we want to work for or what? It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. They dropped Oct and will give me Feb to finish. I have to order 1000.00 which is the max I can order in one month and the team has to do 4,025, so whatever you can do to help, I do appreciate from the bottom of my heart. Please do what you can to help and I will help you in anyway I can and again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We have such a wonderful team, even though we seldom see each other or sometimes even talk, we all know we can depend on one another when we really need someone. Thank you for your support and MK will make us better women, it is truly a blessing to be part of such an awesome company.
Love to you all,
That just makes me nauseas.
Like any parent I hope it is just a phase she will grow out of.
Anyway my mother also has a another job. She sells Mary Kay Cosmetics. You may say, "what is wrong with that?" and to you I say "you must not know anyone who pushes the stuff." The women is relentless. Where ever we go she stops and talks to people about it. Whenever I call or come home its all she talks about. I mean people see her coming and run. Now part of being on the Mary Kay team is that you must enlist troops. Thank god I am not a girl. She has my step-sister and my sister signed up and has just stopped short of having me go door to door with the crap. She always is asking "don't I know someone who would like to buy some?" When I visit she keeps giving me propaganda to take back to Atlanta. At Christmas I asked for more Polo Blue cologne and ended up with a MK "equivalent". Her argument was that their brand was better and she just couldn't give money to a competitor, oh yeah the people at Ralph Lauren are shaking in fear. I can't even bring friends home at the risk of her attacking them like a restaurant pusher in the mall. "Bourbon Chicken?"
Ok still think I am exaggerating? Below is a letter she sent out to her "troops" this past winter.
Hi Everyone,
I am not sure I have been able to personally talk with each of you since the ice storm hit Orangeburg, but it was devastating to me. We not only lost many trees, one of the River Birches at each end of my porch, electricity for a week, everything out of the fridge and freezer but I was also not able to finish car production in January. I was not and could call and talk with people about MK when much more important things were on peoples minds, like electricity, food, and for some even shelter since tree limbs had gone through the roofs of houses. It was a disaster, we could not get out of our drive or street until neighbors cut us out on Tuesday afternoon. We immediately headed out for hot food as all we had was 1 slice of pizza each which we heated on a kerosene heater. My husband did try to make me see the brighter side of the picture, I could do another 4 months to make car production, I had already almost done it (all but $700 in production) so I could do it again. I knew I could but I was so devastated, however, I had resigned myself to starting again.
Debbie called the last night and asked where I was and I said I did not make it, she stated maybe MK would let me have an extension because of the weather and my reply was that if they did that for me that they would have to do that for everyone when the least bit of bad weather moved in across the world. Last week MK called and asked what had gone wrong for me and the team in Feb. we were so close but did not finish. I explained to them about the ice storm and that no one was interested in MK at that time, most did not have water, electricity, food and some even shelter. To make a long story short, they decided to give me until the end of February to finish car production, now is that a company we want to work for or what? It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. They dropped Oct and will give me Feb to finish. I have to order 1000.00 which is the max I can order in one month and the team has to do 4,025, so whatever you can do to help, I do appreciate from the bottom of my heart. Please do what you can to help and I will help you in anyway I can and again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We have such a wonderful team, even though we seldom see each other or sometimes even talk, we all know we can depend on one another when we really need someone. Thank you for your support and MK will make us better women, it is truly a blessing to be part of such an awesome company.
Love to you all,
That just makes me nauseas.
Like any parent I hope it is just a phase she will grow out of.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
NO you take it, I don't think it belongs to me anymore.
I really don't care which political party you belong to, most are not to be trusted anyway. Yesterday I took a step back and tried to look at the whole picture, and I really honestly cried from what this country has become. I mean EVERYONE gets wrapped up in a one issue and it over powers their emotions. So after my rant the other day on under-educated Americans and their racist views I decided to step back and determine why I was so upset. Well I think I have a handle on it, so if you are still with, me here we go.
I grew up thinking that America was about freedom and that this is a great country because we have more of it than any other country. I have to say that I am really disappointed to learn that is not true. In an administration based on hatred and deceit, we are losing the basic principle of America. First the push to put Christian values in state and Federal government institutions in a country that is suppose to be about freedom of religion and separation of church and state. A country, mind you, that is not just made up of people of Christian faith.
Then the Patriot Act, which is just an open door for racism and a tool to eliminate diversity. The plan there was let's scare Americans into believing this is the right thing to do. SO alienating another ethic group in America. I don't think I have ever been so ashamed of being a white man. I can honestly say that racism in America does still exist and that if you are not White,Straight,Male and Christian then it is not the place for you.
One argument that I just am sick of hearing is that homosexual marriage will destroy the sanctity of the institution of marriage. PLEASE! First of all if two people love each other enough to want to be together forever then they should be. Also I must reinforce that religion should play NO part in government. Plus heterosexuals have done so much to make marriage such a beautiful thing, with high divorce rates and hundreds of marriage reality shows (Who Wants to Marry my Father shows me what real marriage is suppose to be, sure). Yeah thank you for showing the world what marriage is suppose to be like, I so hope that I can uphold these strong standards of something so sacred. This so called man of the people is now pushing to amend the U.S. Constitution so that for the FIRST time in its history it would deny civil liberties to American people. That is hate and there is no other way to look at it.
I was alarmed to the reports that people are trying to stop Michael Moore's new movie from being shown. Conservatives are calling him "Un American" for giving his opinion. WTF? Since when has speaking your mind been anything but the biggest American freedom we have? I do urge anybody who questions what this administration is doing to "OUR" country to see this film (http://www.fahrenheit911.com/) and judge for yourself.
You may not agree with anything I have said but just for one moment I ask you to look at this country with someone else's eyes, maybe a Middle Easterner who came here looking for the freedom he or she did not have before. Are we still the land of the free?
I grew up thinking that America was about freedom and that this is a great country because we have more of it than any other country. I have to say that I am really disappointed to learn that is not true. In an administration based on hatred and deceit, we are losing the basic principle of America. First the push to put Christian values in state and Federal government institutions in a country that is suppose to be about freedom of religion and separation of church and state. A country, mind you, that is not just made up of people of Christian faith.
Then the Patriot Act, which is just an open door for racism and a tool to eliminate diversity. The plan there was let's scare Americans into believing this is the right thing to do. SO alienating another ethic group in America. I don't think I have ever been so ashamed of being a white man. I can honestly say that racism in America does still exist and that if you are not White,Straight,Male and Christian then it is not the place for you.
One argument that I just am sick of hearing is that homosexual marriage will destroy the sanctity of the institution of marriage. PLEASE! First of all if two people love each other enough to want to be together forever then they should be. Also I must reinforce that religion should play NO part in government. Plus heterosexuals have done so much to make marriage such a beautiful thing, with high divorce rates and hundreds of marriage reality shows (Who Wants to Marry my Father shows me what real marriage is suppose to be, sure). Yeah thank you for showing the world what marriage is suppose to be like, I so hope that I can uphold these strong standards of something so sacred. This so called man of the people is now pushing to amend the U.S. Constitution so that for the FIRST time in its history it would deny civil liberties to American people. That is hate and there is no other way to look at it.
I was alarmed to the reports that people are trying to stop Michael Moore's new movie from being shown. Conservatives are calling him "Un American" for giving his opinion. WTF? Since when has speaking your mind been anything but the biggest American freedom we have? I do urge anybody who questions what this administration is doing to "OUR" country to see this film (http://www.fahrenheit911.com/) and judge for yourself.
You may not agree with anything I have said but just for one moment I ask you to look at this country with someone else's eyes, maybe a Middle Easterner who came here looking for the freedom he or she did not have before. Are we still the land of the free?
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
What is that smell???
Every so often I find it necessary to spread the news of the weird that is my family. No one is more entertaining than my grandfather or "grand" as we affectionately call him. Of course his children often call him "weird old dude", but not to his face, it is just a glowing tribute to his strange ways. If you have read my past post about him then you know that I think he is the strongest and toughest guy I have ever known. That being said, a few months back after years of heart problems he finally agreed to a pace- maker. Now the only major health issue the man has ever had is his ticker so we are now convinced that with his upgrade he will most likely out-live all of us.
Well just a few months ago my cousin Ben was married. Our family loves a good party and excuse to come together so the people of Clemmons, NC were told to evacuate before it was too late. Now my father's relationship with grand is shaky at best. Dad is the only son and is also the only child living close to my grandfather, so they are often not speaking.
I have family living near me so I was able to ride along with them to the wedding. During the trip my aunt filled me in on all the latest happenings that my father had left out of our recent conversations. It turns out that the doctor had advised my grandfather not to bath for a few DAYS after the surgery. Well my grandfather misunderstood and was adamant that the doctor said 3 months. No matter how hard my aunts tried to convince him, he just refused to wash. It really doesn't surprise me, I mean the man only shops at Food Lion grocery stores, and drives 30 minutes to buy Hess gas. To put it lightly, the man is stubborn.
So here we are on the way to my cousin's wedding in North Carolina with no clue if my grandfather would be smelly or not. I can't imagine what a week without a bath would smell like, months is just inconceivable to me.
One thing that is a constant on this huge family outings is family drama. Most of the time it involves my father and grandfather who are on a different time schedule than the rest of the world. I really do love them but it makes you want to pull your hair out sometimes. I thought that I was going to have a stroke the day of my college graduation when I go to pick them up to take them to the school and my grandfather is still in his night cloths and reading the paper. I wish that was an isolated case but I know 3 other cousins it has happen to.
During the car trip to the wedding I phoned my father(my sister and I were having issues with his cloths but that is another story)I asked him if grand had bathed and he said he just didn't know. What a relief it was when he arrived at the hotel clean and smelling of "old man" aftershave. He even showered the day of the wedding. It just goes to show, the man is full of surprises.
Well just a few months ago my cousin Ben was married. Our family loves a good party and excuse to come together so the people of Clemmons, NC were told to evacuate before it was too late. Now my father's relationship with grand is shaky at best. Dad is the only son and is also the only child living close to my grandfather, so they are often not speaking.
I have family living near me so I was able to ride along with them to the wedding. During the trip my aunt filled me in on all the latest happenings that my father had left out of our recent conversations. It turns out that the doctor had advised my grandfather not to bath for a few DAYS after the surgery. Well my grandfather misunderstood and was adamant that the doctor said 3 months. No matter how hard my aunts tried to convince him, he just refused to wash. It really doesn't surprise me, I mean the man only shops at Food Lion grocery stores, and drives 30 minutes to buy Hess gas. To put it lightly, the man is stubborn.
So here we are on the way to my cousin's wedding in North Carolina with no clue if my grandfather would be smelly or not. I can't imagine what a week without a bath would smell like, months is just inconceivable to me.
One thing that is a constant on this huge family outings is family drama. Most of the time it involves my father and grandfather who are on a different time schedule than the rest of the world. I really do love them but it makes you want to pull your hair out sometimes. I thought that I was going to have a stroke the day of my college graduation when I go to pick them up to take them to the school and my grandfather is still in his night cloths and reading the paper. I wish that was an isolated case but I know 3 other cousins it has happen to.
During the car trip to the wedding I phoned my father(my sister and I were having issues with his cloths but that is another story)I asked him if grand had bathed and he said he just didn't know. What a relief it was when he arrived at the hotel clean and smelling of "old man" aftershave. He even showered the day of the wedding. It just goes to show, the man is full of surprises.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
OPB
A friend of mine told me to check out Margaret Cho's blog (www.margaretcho.com). Honestly it is really good so check it out. While on her website I found these letters to her from really mean, evil, republicans, who didn't know the first thing about her. Some called her Chinese, and others told her to go back to her home country (She was born here you stupid ass WASP). They were upset because of some remark she made about our idiot of a leader. I think she is a better person than I am because she posted them, but me I would have tracked them down like dogs. These people are exactly what is wrong with this country. I am sick of people thinking that the "white man" discovered America....hello, Native Americans that we white men stole land from and murdered. People need to understand that this country is suppose to be about free speech and, religion. This country is a melting pot of the world's people and that diversity is what still gives me hope that America has not fallen prey to the evil plots of a selfish president. Given the opportunity and the right leadership America can become strong again and united in diversity. Now these people had every right to say what they wanted but made their attacks personal and childish instead of making a rational view point. This blog is just a outlet for me to flame so if you are still reading, thanks and I promise to wrap it up soon. Don't look at someone's, color, religion,sexual preference as a personal attack but rather a chance to be yourself and not conform to an ideal that NO ONE is. All I ask is that people treat everyone as an equal, if that were to happen think how far we could go.
Thunder only happens...
On a side note every afternoon for the past two weeks it has rained, no poured for about a half an hour. The sky becomes as dark as night and the air becomes steamy, the sky fills with brilliant flashes of light and the thunder shakes the glass of my windows. I love a good display of mother nature. The best part is when the rain clears and the sun burst through the clouds and the sky becomes so clear and blue. It is almost as the sky has a daily cleaning. Don't you wish that your shower was as entertaining? Or maybe it is......
Thunder only happens...
On a side note every afternoon for the past two weeks it has rained, no poured for about a half an hour. The sky becomes as dark as night and the air becomes steamy, the sky fills with brilliant flashes of light and the thunder shakes the glass of my windows. I love a good display of mother nature. The best part is when the rain clears and the sun burst through the clouds and the sky becomes so clear and blue. It is almost as the sky has a daily cleaning. Don't you wish that your shower was as entertaining? Or maybe it is......
Monday, June 21, 2004
Good Times, Good Times
What a wonderful weekend doing as little as possible can be. I recently took a wonderful trip to California, but it has left me counting coins until my next paycheck. That being the focal point of the weekend, my friend Keri came to entertain me while I was forced to stay in the house. So upon her arrival Friday evening, she, my other friend Rob and I went for some cheap eats at Grant Central Pizza in Grant Park (awesome cheap eats!!). We then came back fixed a few drinks and watched Return to Oz. Laugh if you must but we had all seen the movie when we were younger and it disturb us, so I thought we should give it another go. The movie is even more messed up than I remembered. The rest of the evening was us being our crazy selves talking about random topics.
The weekend theme was about cooking so Saturday Keri and I had planned on making brunch but we had a late start and brunch happened around 2:00pm but it was oh so good. The three of us then played in Borders and Whole Foods. Now you may say BORING but we had so much fun looking for Keri's special cheese! FYI tip if you are hungry and broke go to Whole Foods because you can make a meal out of all the free samples they hand out.
Keri mentioned to us a recipe for bread pudding using Krispy Kreme doughnuts and it sounded too good not to try, so we ran into the KK for supplies. That evening Keri made a awesome dinner while Rob and I made the bread pudding. Taylor had just returned from his Florida trip and decided to dine with us. Two bottles of wine, a great dinner and a dessert that would put a diabetic in the hospital later we felt very accomplish.
Keri and I have been planning to see the movie Dogeball for sometime now and since it opened this weekend I thought we should go over to the Starlight Drive in and catch the 12:45 show. (Starlightdrivein.com)the movie was about what you would expect but we enjoyed ourselves.
Upon our return from the movie, we find Taylor passed out in front of the computer. I tried to wake him by every means that did not require a straight pin but it was no use so I left him there. It was some sight.
Sunday was left over brunch and separate plans by all. I went to dinner and to see the movie Saved with my awesome friend Wayne (ofishell.com). He is a riot!
Now I did spend more money than I planned but I realized how wealthy a person I really am. All cheesiness aside, no price can be put on the time I spend with my close friends.
The weekend theme was about cooking so Saturday Keri and I had planned on making brunch but we had a late start and brunch happened around 2:00pm but it was oh so good. The three of us then played in Borders and Whole Foods. Now you may say BORING but we had so much fun looking for Keri's special cheese! FYI tip if you are hungry and broke go to Whole Foods because you can make a meal out of all the free samples they hand out.
Keri mentioned to us a recipe for bread pudding using Krispy Kreme doughnuts and it sounded too good not to try, so we ran into the KK for supplies. That evening Keri made a awesome dinner while Rob and I made the bread pudding. Taylor had just returned from his Florida trip and decided to dine with us. Two bottles of wine, a great dinner and a dessert that would put a diabetic in the hospital later we felt very accomplish.
Keri and I have been planning to see the movie Dogeball for sometime now and since it opened this weekend I thought we should go over to the Starlight Drive in and catch the 12:45 show. (Starlightdrivein.com)the movie was about what you would expect but we enjoyed ourselves.
Upon our return from the movie, we find Taylor passed out in front of the computer. I tried to wake him by every means that did not require a straight pin but it was no use so I left him there. It was some sight.
Sunday was left over brunch and separate plans by all. I went to dinner and to see the movie Saved with my awesome friend Wayne (ofishell.com). He is a riot!
Now I did spend more money than I planned but I realized how wealthy a person I really am. All cheesiness aside, no price can be put on the time I spend with my close friends.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Never ask my grandfather "How are you doing?"
That question is an open invitation for him to tell you every little ailment he suffers from, or thinks he suffers from. I guess I should tell you first that my grandfather is a bit of a hypochondriac, but at 87 most people are. To him cuts and colds are like fashion statements and he must have it worse than anyone else. Now before you go all "you should not pick at old people or sick people" on me, hear me out. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't take any illness lightly and are myself a huge hypo. I am not talking about life threatening illness, I am talking about colds,cuts,rashes and the occasional insect infestation.
My grandfather is the strongest man I know. Here is a man who has had two open heart surgeries, has a pace maker and is still more active then most people I know. A few stories jump into my head but the one that really sticks out is a few years ago he drove his dump truck down to the woods behind his house and somehow managed to flip it on its side while he was still in it. So he crawls out of the window and walks back to the house. With blood streaming down his face he asked my father to go back down there and help him get the truck back right side up. The man had a major cut right above his eye and was bleeding and all he wanted to do was get his dump truck back! He finally decided to go to the hospital to have his wounds examined and since then you would have thought he had survived a major war battle.
You see it is not so much the illness but the story he has to go with it. A few years ago he had a hernia operation and he was not satisfied until everyone saw his scare which was in places I would rather not think grandparents had...gross.
Over the past year or so he has taken to finding lots of little things wrong with him so that he can go visit his doctor. He loves his doctor and he was seeing him on average 3 times a week. The latest issue has actually caused some tension between grand and the good doctor. He is convinced that really small bugs are biting his head and neck and making him itch. This news alarmed me a bit because my father and grandfather live next door to one another in the South Carolina sticks. To makes things worse both of them work really hard, get really dirty and have no one to make them clean. Now I am not saying that they are pigs and don't bath, but neither of the two are what I would call constantly tidy. So when I heard of the head bug infestation I was worried I would have to go down there and burn all the sheets and give the two gasoline baths or something. As it turns out, there was something in my grandfather's head alright but it wasn't bugs, it was his imagination. After repeated inspections the doctor found no bugs and told my grandfather to use a gentler shampoo. Convinced that he does have bugs, my grandfather has gone to see another doctor . The last report I received is that the new doctor told him that he could not find any bugs but in case there were there he should use a special shampoo. It is nice to know that there is someone out there patient enough to put up with my grandfather's crazy ways.
This whole situation with my grandfather and his wacky ways snuck back into my day to day conciseness recently when I noticed that my friends and I now tend to discuss our "ailments" as common points of daily banter. As much as I would love to chalk up my grandfather's crazy behavior as him being him, believe me he is nuts and I could write a book to prove it, I have come to the reality that it's just a part of getting older.
My grandfather is the strongest man I know. Here is a man who has had two open heart surgeries, has a pace maker and is still more active then most people I know. A few stories jump into my head but the one that really sticks out is a few years ago he drove his dump truck down to the woods behind his house and somehow managed to flip it on its side while he was still in it. So he crawls out of the window and walks back to the house. With blood streaming down his face he asked my father to go back down there and help him get the truck back right side up. The man had a major cut right above his eye and was bleeding and all he wanted to do was get his dump truck back! He finally decided to go to the hospital to have his wounds examined and since then you would have thought he had survived a major war battle.
You see it is not so much the illness but the story he has to go with it. A few years ago he had a hernia operation and he was not satisfied until everyone saw his scare which was in places I would rather not think grandparents had...gross.
Over the past year or so he has taken to finding lots of little things wrong with him so that he can go visit his doctor. He loves his doctor and he was seeing him on average 3 times a week. The latest issue has actually caused some tension between grand and the good doctor. He is convinced that really small bugs are biting his head and neck and making him itch. This news alarmed me a bit because my father and grandfather live next door to one another in the South Carolina sticks. To makes things worse both of them work really hard, get really dirty and have no one to make them clean. Now I am not saying that they are pigs and don't bath, but neither of the two are what I would call constantly tidy. So when I heard of the head bug infestation I was worried I would have to go down there and burn all the sheets and give the two gasoline baths or something. As it turns out, there was something in my grandfather's head alright but it wasn't bugs, it was his imagination. After repeated inspections the doctor found no bugs and told my grandfather to use a gentler shampoo. Convinced that he does have bugs, my grandfather has gone to see another doctor . The last report I received is that the new doctor told him that he could not find any bugs but in case there were there he should use a special shampoo. It is nice to know that there is someone out there patient enough to put up with my grandfather's crazy ways.
This whole situation with my grandfather and his wacky ways snuck back into my day to day conciseness recently when I noticed that my friends and I now tend to discuss our "ailments" as common points of daily banter. As much as I would love to chalk up my grandfather's crazy behavior as him being him, believe me he is nuts and I could write a book to prove it, I have come to the reality that it's just a part of getting older.
