WTF Jamie?

I found this article in the State Newspaper as Columbia prepars for USC's (Carolina) first game of the season.

I decided not all 50 were that funny but I thought some were so I posted those.

50 things ESPN needs to know about S.C.

Since mid-July, crews from ESPN’s “SportsCenter” have been racing across the nation, trying to hit all 50 states in 50 days. It works like this: Go to a state. Pick a sporting event. Broadcast live. Pack up and run to the next state on your list. Hurry! Today, ESPN’s “guest state” is South Carolina, and “SportsCenter” will feature USC’s home game against Central Florida. (The next day, it’s a prison rodeo in Oklahoma. Then a football game in Alabama. Then Highland Games in Wisconsin. Then they finally get to rest.) As part of all this, ESPN has been asking viewers to vote (via the Internet) on the best of South Carolina’s “sporting culture and heritage.” Here are some of our suggestions.

1. South Carolina and North Carolina are different states. South Carolina is to the south. North Carolina is to the north.

2. There is no state called “Carolina,” even though the Carolina Panthers disagree.

4. The capital of South Carolina is Columbia, not Charleston. Charleston is pretty and historic and artistic, but it’s not the capital city.

5. South Carolina’s governor is Mark Sanford, a frugal fellow. He owns one pair of pants (khakis) and wears them every working day.

6. South Carolina’s first lady is Jenny Sanford, a frugal lady. When she must wash her husband’s only pair of pants, she takes them to the river and pounds them with stones rather than pay for dry cleaning.

7. The University of South Carolina mascot is the fighting gamecock. Watching gamecocks fight is illegal. Watching Gamecocks play is a popular pastime.

9. South Carolina started the Civil War in 1861. In retrospect, it probably was not a good idea.

10. In 1865, Union Army Gen. W.T. Sherman’s troops were camped in Columbia, and somebody started playing with matches, and a bad thing happened.

11. There is a huge rivalry between the University of South Carolina and Clemson University, and it has something to do with sports.

13. The hurricane that devastated South Carolina in 1989 was called Hugo. Since then, no male child in South Carolina has been named Hugo.

14. South Carolinians do not fear 200-mph killer hurricanes. But if a quarter-inch of slushy snow falls in the office parking lot, we are out of there, man!

15. Two words: boiled peanuts.

16. Two more words: sweet tea.

17. If you only have been watching PBS, the most famous South Carolina native is probably Strom Thurmond. If you only have been watching HBO, the most famous South Carolina native is probably Kristin Davis.

18. A palmetto tree is the symbol of South Carolina. A melting palmetto tree is the symbol of South Carolina in mid-July.

19. “Y’all” is a contraction of “you all,” so the apostrophe denoting the dropped letters comes after the Y, not after the A. Y’all always get that wrong.

23. In 2002, an estimated 30 million people visited South Carolina. That is why you got stuck in traffic on the way to the beach.

24. In 2002, those visitors spent an estimated $7.3 billion, mostly on South of the Border “Pedro” water globes.

25. Charleston was the first place in the United States where golf was played. That was still not enough to get Charleston named the state capital.

28. Former U.S. Sen. Fritz Hollings didn’t mean half of the outrageous things he used to say when he was in Washington.

31. Columbia’s Huger Street is pronounced “You-gee.” No, “Hew-gee.” No, “You-ger.”

34. Charleston just got a majestic $632 million bridge.

40. On South Carolina roads, a green light means “go,” a yellow light means “go faster” and a red light means “floor it, baby!”

41. Car-insurance rates are pretty high here, for no good reason that we know of.

46. Depending on where you are, “shag” can refer to South Carolina’s official state dance, a type of carpeting or sex. Context makes a big difference.

47. One of the best movies filmed in South Carolina was “The Patriot,” in which Mel Gibson played a Revolutionary War fighter loosely based on Francis Marion.

— Bobby Bryant From the State Newspaper in Columbia, SC