WTF Jamie?

I try to be as open as possible but I know there are issues I rarely let surface. Most often they play out like little skits in my head. I just don't like to complicate things with more issues. I am lucky to have great friends who are always open to letting me talk about my issues but often these are too difficult to put into words. My fears of lust and intimacy or of my thoughts of spaces between life and death can often sound grim and much darker than I intend them to be. I fear totally honesty especially when it comes to love and how my love will only complicate situations. I hate falling in love and never having the balls to expose it. I know we all fear something and it always seems to be looming over our shoulders ready to get us. I guess that my fear might be who I am, my real identity and it not being what people see from the surface. Wow this has turned into a moment of self-loathing and that is not me. I think I am on the emotional short bus again along with having a case of Keri's Cosmic Horn has got me all out of wack. I need to figure out what the hell is my problem and get back to this. More to come.....